I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
