He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
