I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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