you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
