I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
