I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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