So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What a dumb baby whore.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
