Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
