i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
