Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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