Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
