youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize