And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
