with your own penis?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
