Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
