I seem to have left my pride at pride
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
