there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
