Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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