i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
