You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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