If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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