that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
