this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
