there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
