My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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