the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
