wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
