Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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