God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
