How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
