The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
