I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
