I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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