i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I smell stomach acid.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
