she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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