i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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