I hate all girls vehemently.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
