Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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