It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
