im drinking this country out of the recession.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
