Your tits are I can't wait for
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
