Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
