ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
time to smoke my breakfast
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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