Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Randomize
