I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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