i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
