So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
