That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
