there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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