So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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