Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
