I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
