Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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